Have you been Tango-ed… or have you been Sexit-ed… that is the question???

We thought we’d talk about why we called the book the Scandal of Sexit and what we mean by Sexit and what we think it feels like.

We really struggled with the label of a ‘self-help’ book and why calling it that didn’t sit right with us.  Five hours of deliberation later, we came to the conclusion that a self-help book implies that you are on your own helping yourself.

So we decided to write a how-to-survive book, which means we are all doing it together – because the thing about Sexit is that it can feel very isolating. We want to be instrumental in creating that change and so we’re attempting to shine a light on the subject and bring some awareness to the table, and also a big invitation to be part of a gang… a gang of women… so we can start to change things together.

The way we understand the experience of Sexit is through our feelings… yes a random thought but it’s true!!! It’s like a wave of emotions that you may feel at any given time. What sort of feelings? Well some of them might feel like this… a feeling like you’re on the floor, defeated, in pain and there is nothing left anymore; you’re not good enough, you’re not beautiful enough, you’re not talented enough. You have just been defeated and made invisible and it feels absolutely horrible. You just want to cry, you want to feel angry, you want to cry some more and the questions coming are: “Why, why, why can I not be fabulous, creative, inspired, intelligent, powerful, strong, sensitive, beautiful, gorgeous? Why do you have to make me less? Why do you have to make me feel small? Why do you have to make me invisible?”

Unbeknown to us as we started writing the book (story of our lives…hindsight is a great thing) each chapter ended up being chunked into three sections – a deep and meaningful piece with loads of research and quotes from fantastic people to help explore the particular subject we’re talking about; then a whole piece where we normally made utter fools of ourselves but came out with a good celeby stardust story; culminating in an exercise to explore your own resources for coming out on top. And brilliantly we’ve just co-created with our publisher that there will be a QR code with each exercise so you can use it to go and listen to each exercise on audio… which is the perfect way to lie back, relax and go a little deeper, so you can turn what you need to on its head.

Over this time writing the exercises for the book we have got ourselves into total states – one could say sleep-induced coma – while we tested and tried the exercises, so we know they really work. Rest assured though we did not record any snoring on the audio!

The chapters range from subjects such as ‘Inner Confidence’, ‘Money’, ‘Body Changes’, ‘Menopause’, ‘Flirting’, ‘Sensuality’, ‘Sexuality’, and ‘Asking for what you want, even though you may not always get it’, (which is something we were not averse to doing on a regular basis and still continue to do so), just to name a few.

We don’t think Sexit happens just in media, by the way, but we do think that the media needs to change to support the bigger picture so that all women can see themselves represented on our TV screens and radio airwaves, and in films and magazines, etc.

We would really like to know your experience of Sexit. You can do this by letting us know in the comments.